It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Randomize
