I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
