I can't watch pbs sober anymore
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Randomize
