If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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