I wish I only lived at night.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
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