I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
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please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
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Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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