Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
Randomize
