I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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