People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
