we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Even my vagina gasped.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
