i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
nutella sex= disaster
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Randomize
