So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
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I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
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YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
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