she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
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