So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
