I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
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