shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
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