im having a threesome with these popsicles
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
she peed on how many people?
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
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