i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize
