first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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