My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
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