turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
do nipples grow back?
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
