Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Randomize
