xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
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