OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
