If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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