I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
