I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
whose ass print is on the piano?
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Randomize
