mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
