so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize