i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
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