i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
