do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
I scissor kicked a one legged man last night.
He was trying to put me in handcuffs.
You have my attention.
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Randomize
