When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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