He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Randomize
