I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
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