Just cropdusted the office
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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