I feel like I'm in dance class right now
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
