You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Terrible idea I love it
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
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