I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
