Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Randomize
