I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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