Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Randomize
