The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
