Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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