haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Randomize
