Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
Randomize
