I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
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