We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Randomize
