Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
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