I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
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