His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
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