Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
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