there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
