I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
