I wish I could teleport
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
