we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Randomize