I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Randomize
