Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Randomize
