this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Randomize
