that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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