I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Randomize
