I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
Randomize
