He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
